Sports Ethics:Revision Assignment
For my writing capstone class, we were assigned to create a revision assignment based off another piece in this portfolio. For my revision piece, took my sports ethics report and flipped the genre, turning it into a satirical, Onion-style article. I did this because of some of my person opinions on the situation, and because I have written an Onion-style article in another class before so I felt more comfortable doing so. For this piece, I had to pay a lot of attention to balancing my own person thoughts and opinions with the language and format that the Onion uses for its articles.
The Las Vegas Golden Knights Felt their Reputation had Room to Decline
LAS VEGAS, NV - On October 26, 2025, the NHL confirmed that the Las Vegas Golden Knights decided to, once again, infuriate and offend millions of hockey fans and sign controversial goaltender Carter Hart. Faking injuries to dodge the salary cap, getting fined during the 2026 draft despite numerous warnings, being arrogant and unsportsmanlike, and screwing over beloved goalie Marc-Andre Fleury weren’t enough - the franchise decided they needed to do more. “You know what they say. When you go low, I go lower,” said general manager Kelly McCrimmon when asked about the franchise’s reputation. “You’d understand if you were as untouchable as me and my franchise. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Except for Fleury, of course.” McCrimmon did not allow us to interview any of the players or the head coach, saying that “everybody on the team 100% agrees with all the decisions that have been made”. We attempted to further question him and the decision to sign Hart, but he declined to comment.
Despite McCrimmon’s disallowance of us interviewing the coach or any of the players, we felt that Hart had inspired us to ignore the word “no” and continued with our interviews. Jack Eichel, a center on the Golden Knights, offered to participate in an interview with us about the situation. We feel that his interview offered more substance and a more reasonable outlook on the opinion of signing Hart. “I despise him. It’s disgusting. I can’t even praise him for being a decent goaltender. He can finish fast in other situations, but he can’t finish a hockey game for shit! We always lose in the final minutes because of him.” Eichel also stated that he “missed having a goalie who understands basic words. Stopping a puck is his entire job, and he can’t even process what the word ‘stop’ means.”
The topic of Carter Hart first came to our attention during April of 2022, when Hockey Canada had a lawsuit filed against them for sexual assault. Hart was promptly suspended from the Philadelphia Flyers, who placed him on free agency for seemingly obvious reasons. While Hart was found not guilty, the NHL released a statement saying the five players who were on trial, including Hart, did not meet the standards that the league has set for players. Shortly after, Las Vegas stated that they are committed to aligning with the NHL's standards. They then announced a two-year commitment to what could be described as “continued excellence in ignoring all standards and regulations” and signed Hart.
Despite the law determining Hart to be “not guilty,” he still did not meet the NHL standards for not pissing off the entire hockey fanbase. While he was found not guilty, the Golden Knights reportedly felt signing him was the best option to continue to commit to the organization’s disregard for the feelings of fans, teammates, and public relations. We also predict that the Las Vegas Golden Knights' next move will be even worse. Reports have come about of head coach John Tortorella discussing the salary cap in relation to convicted felons.